Alignment
A few years ago, in an effort to find a connection to my ancestors from Africa, I did a DNA test. When I got my results it told me that I am primarily Nigerian. (I’m mixed, but my highest percentage of all the things, is Nigerian.) Taking that test sent me on a path I had no idea of where it was headed.
As I learned about my genetic heritage, more or less, I started working towards decolonizing my diet, more intentional gardening, and herbalism. Basically, I started to realize that I was feeling sluggish or tired after eating certain foods, or certain amounts of foods. So my first step was to reduce the amount I was eating, only eating until I was no longer hungry. Then I started thinking about how my ancestors must have eaten. I realized that they most likely didn’t have lots of flour, grains, etc. That they were eating from their gardens. I started thinking about which foods they would’ve grown. I even started looking for Nigerian recipes. As my relationship with these foods grew, I wanted to have more abundant access to things, so I started to grow these specific foods. (Okra, tomatoes, beans, etc.) As I grew more intentionally about how I was eating, I decided to get more intentional about how I use plants medicinally. I, 100%, believe that the combination of science (scientific knowledge + exploration + practice) and plants can cure pretty much anything we need to cure. So I started looking for ways to use the plants that I was already growing, and that I could grow. (This is how I found out that sunflowers are edible, besides the seeds, AND medicinal. This is how I found out that cotton is medicinal. And this is also how I find out which plants can be used for dyes.)
Along the way I stumbled into birth work. By stumbled, I mean I was called. An by birth work, I mean I was actually called into full spectrum doula work. Between becoming a doula and doing my textile business, I felt like my interests weren’t exactly connected, but that they’re equally important. Last summer I took the indigo and mud dyeing workshops with Aboubakar Fofana. That was the first time I was able to truly connect my birth work with my textile work.
While all this was going on I was working out my dream trip to Nigeria. I had planned what to do and where to go. I made an itinerary. Priced out tickets. Everything. Then I got pregnant, then COVID hit. I lost track of where I was writing my notes, etc.
As the pandemic persisted, I decided to really focus on my professional development. Taking the workshops with Aboubakar really helped me realize the importance of seizing the opportunities that the pandemic had presented to me. I had originally planned to continue taking my doula training through NBDA, because my first experience (which was just prior to COVID) was so wonderful. But they’re located in Atlanta, and I’m in Arizona. And because of how the scheduling of their classes (preCOVID), it would’ve taken probably a couple years to get through all the trainings. But then more and more people began making their classes, workshops, trainings accessible. Now herbalism classes, doula classes (different than the classes at NBDA, specifically death, disability, etc.), and what not started popping up. But after my husband becoming an amputee, losing his job, COVID, the forced move, new baby, money was scarce. But I wasn’t 100% confident in my capabilities. There was so much I still wanted to learn. So I started asking for help. Or rather continued, because I started with the dye workshops. And to my surprise I found overwhelming support. I haven’t been able to 100% fund all of my education through donations, but I have paid the majority through donations. What wasn’t covered by donations, was covered by scholarships, and occassional extra money (what was leftover after paying months of rent and bills in advance). This past year I’ve taken so many courses, and such a short amount of time. Every time a class or materials get paid for, my husband and I marvel at how loving our community has been. (To see how many classes I’ve been able to take, check here. I’ve done 10, with 3 more coming up.) I’ve hardly been able to keep up. And in some ways I haven’t, but because of the structure, I have the time.
LAST Monday (emphasis because I can’t believe it’s nearly paid for and it makes me really emotional), everything came full circle. As it turns out, one of the members of the doula collective is organizing a retreat for BIPOC birth workers in Nigeria. I saw the dates. Looked at my husband and said, “can I go to Nigeria”, he didn’t even look at me, and replied, “yes.” So then I contacted the organizer and she told me how it was nearly full and I would need to secure my spot asap. So I made a flyer, and posted it. Then I told myself, if I’m able to get the DEPOSIT, not even the full amount, just the deposit, that I’d secure my spot and figure it out. Well, less than an hour later the deposit was covered. I couldn’t believe it. This goal I’d had for years was finally coming to fruition. It was a goal I’d temporarily given up on making happen. As the week progressed all the pieces came into view.
Originally I planned to go to Nigeria, as a homegoing, but it would’ve been solely as a tourist. Trying to figure things out on my own. Just kind of floating by. NOW, after years of preparation and learning I’m going as a birth worker. I’m going specifically to the place I wanted to go most. I’m going with other Black folks to be with Black folks to learn the practices that would’ve been handed down to me had my ancestors never been enslaved. And the kicker is that as I looked over the itinerary, and compared it to my own, which I randomly found, I realized that it’s nearly identical to the itinerary I had already planned. When I get to Nigeria I’ll have done a healing circle for those who’ve had cesaeran births, I’ll have done a Black led and centered lactation course, and I’ll have finished my other doula trainings. This trip is the culmination of all that training, and will be the capstone to all that work. While it’s been hard getting all of this done, I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt that I am where I am meant to be, exactly when I am supposed to be there. It’s taken a lifetime to get here, but I’m so grateful for how things are coming together.
If you’ve helped make ANY of this happen, in any way, just know I’m filled with unending gratitude. I’ve been worn out, exhausted, and jaded for so long, because of all the hardships we’ve faced. Specifically starting since the death of our son, but really my whole life, but you all have really helped me come out on top, with renewed hope. I knew that 2021 would be a great year, but I had no idea.
If you’d like to help me get over the final hurdle you can donate via:
venmo: @adia-jamille
cashapp: $adiajamille